As of July 4th, my husband and I have been separated a year. It was a devastating blow to my ego and heart when I had to accept that I would no longer be able to maintain a marital relationship with the man I am legally married to. Separation was the only answer to the problem.
It has taken me a year to really be able to write about my feelings in a real way. I have been soft stepping around the issue because my heart was truly broken. It is true! Time does heal and I feel much better now.
In the movie, Adjustment Bureau, Matt Damon is being kept away from a woman he is destined to love. The reason they keep him away from her is because they want him to serve the greater good and if he gets with this woman, he will be content and would not want to pursue the political career being laid out for him.
More and more I am getting the impression that the same thing is happening in my life. Although, to me, there is no greater calling than being a wife and mother; I do believe God has more in store for me and freeing me from a marriage that would have required all my time and energy, once again, is not what God has in store for me. I had to let go and get out before I missed my blessing.
I am on my way!
Monday, July 9, 2012
Sunday, May 27, 2012
She Finally Gets It
My 32 year old told me, "I love you so much. You have taught me so much about life just watching you. At first I didn't understand about you and Jerome. You have been a model for resilence and patience. You have showed me you can benefit from waiting, that God will take care of things."
My children have long wanted me to leave my husband, but I knew what I was going through was bigger than what appeared to the eye. I knew God was working on me and my husband and that all I had to do was be patient. It wasn't easy. My children and some friends gave me hard time because they couldn't understand why I stayed. Now, they get it.
Now that they see how whole I am, how much God has truly blessed me, the arre also believers.
"Divorce him for what? You did the right thing."
A few years back she was campaigning for me to get rid of him. Now, she gets what I meant each time I responded, "It's not for me to control him. God will take care of him."
Even when I was in the midst of turmoil, in the back of my mind I knew God was in control and I obeyed. I am so glad I did. My children have praised me over and over and it feels great to know for a fact I have been a great role model for reslience, love of God and change. I have shown them it is never too late live your life. I'ved shown them that just because someone does something horrible to you doesn't mean you have to treat them the same way. I have modeled the importance of being open and honest with yourself, first and foremost.
I am proud of my relationship with my children. They have blessed me greatly this year with their feedback. They make me feel like a good mother.
My children have long wanted me to leave my husband, but I knew what I was going through was bigger than what appeared to the eye. I knew God was working on me and my husband and that all I had to do was be patient. It wasn't easy. My children and some friends gave me hard time because they couldn't understand why I stayed. Now, they get it.
Now that they see how whole I am, how much God has truly blessed me, the arre also believers.
"Divorce him for what? You did the right thing."
A few years back she was campaigning for me to get rid of him. Now, she gets what I meant each time I responded, "It's not for me to control him. God will take care of him."
Even when I was in the midst of turmoil, in the back of my mind I knew God was in control and I obeyed. I am so glad I did. My children have praised me over and over and it feels great to know for a fact I have been a great role model for reslience, love of God and change. I have shown them it is never too late live your life. I'ved shown them that just because someone does something horrible to you doesn't mean you have to treat them the same way. I have modeled the importance of being open and honest with yourself, first and foremost.
I am proud of my relationship with my children. They have blessed me greatly this year with their feedback. They make me feel like a good mother.
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