There is a Right Way and a Wrong Way to Love Somebody

I accept that I am a good writer and can move people with my words. It is rarely intentional. I have had several men approach me based on my Facebook post. Most have been very respectful, but there have been a few that have had no filter.

I often wonder what makes folk show their ugly side when initially meeting someone. What would make a man who has hopes to be with a woman, talk to her in a vulgar manner within minutes of a conversation? What makes him think he can do it and still have the women's attention?

You have to wonder are there women out their who find that type of talk appealing? are there women out there who led men to believe that degrading conversations are sexually arousing? I have had two such encounters. One of the men became a stalker. He could not believe I was not interested in him because he wanted to be with me. He had homes and cars and money and motorcycles. He boasted of this, even had pictures posted of the interiors of his cabinets and refrigerator.

Left me wondering, if I looked like I was hungry. He just kept talking about all this and that. Meanwhile, he couldn't walk two steps without having to take a break. Really. At this age, walking is about all will soon be able to do. None of those things will be of comfort when the wheelchair becomes your mode of transportation.

I don't know about other women, but I want a man who considers his healthy. Who knows how to love with his heart and is will to grow in love with another. A man who knows there is something greater than he, that supports his efforts good or bad, right or wrong. Someone with a high personal integrity and would never want to stoop as low to as to use vulgarity to get his point across.

We got a long way to go. Just know, there is little fun trying to do the right thing with the wrong man.

Pay Attention

People tell on themselves all the time. Whether consciously or not, they want you to know who they are; they just might not come right out and tell you. They want to see if you are paying attention. Men are great at taking advantage of their woman slipping. Sometimes they read our signals wrong, but most often they are right when they think we have little regard for who we are. A lot of time they want to see how much they can get and/or get away with. Depending on how much you do/or don't know who you are will determine how far they can take you.

We all know of a women who knew from the jump the man she chose wasn't right. But he had a few qualities she thought should couldn't do without, until she was ready to do without him. We have to know when we make the conscious choice to be with someone who we know is shady, our cloudy view will continue to lead us astray.

It is virtually impossible to survive doing the right thing with the wrong man without having a firm and solid relationship with yourself. You have to be strong enough stand tall in face of your feelings, emotions and desires. You have to be ready to fight for your life and know it is so true that love don't love nobody. The wrong man will challenge every belief you have because he has none truly for himself. He believes nothing but his own hype and the lies he has has fed to others.

Pay attention! Men and women. Men get choose the wrong women everyday and suffer until they can't anymore. Listen!

She Finally Gets It

My 32 year old told me, "I love you so much. You have taught me so much about life just watching you. At first I didn't understand about you and Jerome. You have been a model for resilence and patience. You have showed me you can benefit from waiting, that God will take care of things."

My children have long wanted me to leave my husband, but I knew what I was going through was bigger than what appeared to the eye. I knew God was working on me and my husband and that all I had to do was be patient. It wasn't easy. My children and some friends gave me hard time because they couldn't understand why I stayed. Now, they get it.

Now that they see how whole I am, how much God has truly blessed me, the arre also believers.

"Divorce him for what? You did the right thing."

A few years back she was campaigning for me to get rid of him. Now, she gets what I meant each time I responded, "It's not for me to control him. God will take care of him."

Even when I was in the midst of turmoil, in the back of my mind I knew God was in control and I obeyed. I am so glad I did. My children have praised me over and over and it feels great to know for a fact I have been a great role model for reslience, love of God and change. I have shown them it is never too late live  your life. I'ved shown them that just because someone does something horrible to you doesn't mean you have to treat them the same way. I have modeled the importance of being open and honest with yourself, first and foremost.

I am proud of my relationship with my children. They have blessed me greatly this year with their feedback. They make me feel like a good mother.