People tell on themselves all the time. Whether consciously or not, they want you to know who they are; they just might not come right out and tell you. They want to see if you are paying attention. Men are great at taking advantage of their woman slipping. Sometimes they read our signals wrong, but most often they are right when they think we have little regard for who we are. A lot of time they want to see how much they can get and/or get away with. Depending on how much you do/or don't know who you are will determine how far they can take you.
We all know of a women who knew from the jump the man she chose wasn't right. But he had a few qualities she thought should couldn't do without, until she was ready to do without him. We have to know when we make the conscious choice to be with someone who we know is shady, our cloudy view will continue to lead us astray.
It is virtually impossible to survive doing the right thing with the wrong man without having a firm and solid relationship with yourself. You have to be strong enough stand tall in face of your feelings, emotions and desires. You have to be ready to fight for your life and know it is so true that love don't love nobody. The wrong man will challenge every belief you have because he has none truly for himself. He believes nothing but his own hype and the lies he has has fed to others.
Pay attention! Men and women. Men get choose the wrong women everyday and suffer until they can't anymore. Listen!
Friday, November 29, 2013
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Admit It
Seriously, how many times have you been with a man to get something you knew he could give you, only to not want him when you don't want what you wanted when you first met him, anymore?
What is the point of this blog?
I want everyone to be happy, especially women. We try so hard. Yes, as my guy TI put, we can be a "tad misguided."
The way we hinder this pattern of giving the impression of being loss is to become more self-aware. I know, you hate to admit that sometimes you are manipulative and that you lie and even steal just to get a stupid purse, or dress. It would be hard for me too to say, "Yes, I slept with him for some red bottoms."
Yet, until we face all the little dark places of the self, who we are at our best cannot shine through and yes, you will continue to try to do the right thing with the wrong man until you right your wrongs. It always comes back to us. We cannot change it, until we admit it.
What is the point of this blog?
I want everyone to be happy, especially women. We try so hard. Yes, as my guy TI put, we can be a "tad misguided."
The way we hinder this pattern of giving the impression of being loss is to become more self-aware. I know, you hate to admit that sometimes you are manipulative and that you lie and even steal just to get a stupid purse, or dress. It would be hard for me too to say, "Yes, I slept with him for some red bottoms."
Yet, until we face all the little dark places of the self, who we are at our best cannot shine through and yes, you will continue to try to do the right thing with the wrong man until you right your wrongs. It always comes back to us. We cannot change it, until we admit it.
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Prime Example
Talk about a guilty pleasure; I watch Love and Hip New York. This issuation Miss Yandy has found herself in is way too familiar to many women throughout the country who are in love with criminals. You look up her story and find out she has been with this man maybe as long as nine years. There is no way she did not know he was shady.
Like so many of us, we think love makes it okay to be with these guys who are nothing more than modern day slaves, willing to give their lives up for a quick buck. Yeah, he was dealing top weight and making big cash, but now when he is needed the most, karma has comma' calling and it is time to pay the piper. She is a prime example of a woman trying to do the right thing with the wrong man.
She is smart, intelligent and capable. She needs to accept her role in the situation, no matter if it was only to "act" like she didn't know he was a serious drug dealer. Her net worth will keep her comfortable if she does not succumb to her emotions. She keeps lying to herself saying, "this is not what I signed up for."
Yes, it is. You got exactly what you signed up for when you had a baby by a criminal, becoming single mother. She needs to prepare herself for writing letters and posting money on his books. She better get used to traveling to see him and hope he ain't on lock down.
She needs to dry her eyes, but her big girl panties on and make a decision. Is you is, or is you ain't his baby?
Like so many of us, we think love makes it okay to be with these guys who are nothing more than modern day slaves, willing to give their lives up for a quick buck. Yeah, he was dealing top weight and making big cash, but now when he is needed the most, karma has comma' calling and it is time to pay the piper. She is a prime example of a woman trying to do the right thing with the wrong man.
She is smart, intelligent and capable. She needs to accept her role in the situation, no matter if it was only to "act" like she didn't know he was a serious drug dealer. Her net worth will keep her comfortable if she does not succumb to her emotions. She keeps lying to herself saying, "this is not what I signed up for."
Yes, it is. You got exactly what you signed up for when you had a baby by a criminal, becoming single mother. She needs to prepare herself for writing letters and posting money on his books. She better get used to traveling to see him and hope he ain't on lock down.
She needs to dry her eyes, but her big girl panties on and make a decision. Is you is, or is you ain't his baby?
Monday, November 25, 2013
If It Don't Fit, Don't Force It
It is easy to see why women get a pass on so many things. We really do put our heart into most of what we do. Still, we must recognize when we are trying to fit a square peg in a round whole. If it don't fit, don't force it.
It amazes me that women are still using getting pregnant to try to trap men. If it don't fit, don't force it. I can barely comprehend why some would think creating a dependent for life with someone you had to track down to give the sex to will enhance your life.
We are in our will. Calling ourselves doing the right thing, even though we know he ain't right. See, what we misunderstand is the extent of our power as women. We cannot force another into growing up or taking responsibility. These factors are born from the inside out. Yet, there are many of us who think, "If he loves me, he will....."
When he doesn't, we never think, "We'll, I guess he doesn't love me, I should move on."
No, we dig our heels in deeper and continue to call ourselves doing the right thing, with the wrong man.
It amazes me that women are still using getting pregnant to try to trap men. If it don't fit, don't force it. I can barely comprehend why some would think creating a dependent for life with someone you had to track down to give the sex to will enhance your life.
We are in our will. Calling ourselves doing the right thing, even though we know he ain't right. See, what we misunderstand is the extent of our power as women. We cannot force another into growing up or taking responsibility. These factors are born from the inside out. Yet, there are many of us who think, "If he loves me, he will....."
When he doesn't, we never think, "We'll, I guess he doesn't love me, I should move on."
No, we dig our heels in deeper and continue to call ourselves doing the right thing, with the wrong man.
Sunday, November 24, 2013
Stupid Ass
Sometimes we can be just plain stupid asses. Women, that is. There are biological reasons why we experience some of the self-hate we do during our teen-aged years. Unfortunately, it also during that time that our self-esteem needs to be developed in a positive way. Otherwise, we will most likely have to work on ourselves later if our self-esteem is low throughout our teens.
The dictionary defines self-esteem as a realistic respect or favorable impression of one-self.
Self-respect is defined as .proper esteem or regard for the dignity of ones character.
What the dictionary does not tell you is self-esteem is derived from what you see, think and believe others think and believe about you. Self-respect is what you know about yourself.
With this understand you can see clearly why there can be those who ain't shit with a high self-esteem and no self-respect. Then there are those, (like I used to be) with no self-esteem, but high self-respect.
So many woman struggle with self-esteem and thing very little about self-respect. If you have self-respect, you don't need self-esteem. Self-respect trumps self-esteem because it is based on what you know from within. Self-respect is derived from your awareness of your dignity and character. In lies, the problem, a stupid ass does not maintain their dignity, or sharpen their character. They allow their actions to be dictated by the desires of others. No where is this behavior more suicidal than in a relationship with a man.
Even the most well meaning man will abuse a woman who receives recognizes her self-worth only through the eyes of others. Either he will leave her or mistreat her in the end. Either way she will try to feed off the glory of being a victim for as long as she can, when in reality, she is a stupid ass.
The worse thing that can happen is for a Stupid Ass to be married to someone with no self-esteem or self-respect. Not only is the person unable to mirror anything positive for her, he, himself is trapped in his own stupid hell, so they go through stupid shit. God forbid they have children.
Women, check yourself, before you wreck yourself.
The dictionary defines self-esteem as a realistic respect or favorable impression of one-self.
Self-respect is defined as .proper esteem or regard for the dignity of ones character.
What the dictionary does not tell you is self-esteem is derived from what you see, think and believe others think and believe about you. Self-respect is what you know about yourself.
With this understand you can see clearly why there can be those who ain't shit with a high self-esteem and no self-respect. Then there are those, (like I used to be) with no self-esteem, but high self-respect.
So many woman struggle with self-esteem and thing very little about self-respect. If you have self-respect, you don't need self-esteem. Self-respect trumps self-esteem because it is based on what you know from within. Self-respect is derived from your awareness of your dignity and character. In lies, the problem, a stupid ass does not maintain their dignity, or sharpen their character. They allow their actions to be dictated by the desires of others. No where is this behavior more suicidal than in a relationship with a man.
Even the most well meaning man will abuse a woman who receives recognizes her self-worth only through the eyes of others. Either he will leave her or mistreat her in the end. Either way she will try to feed off the glory of being a victim for as long as she can, when in reality, she is a stupid ass.
The worse thing that can happen is for a Stupid Ass to be married to someone with no self-esteem or self-respect. Not only is the person unable to mirror anything positive for her, he, himself is trapped in his own stupid hell, so they go through stupid shit. God forbid they have children.
Women, check yourself, before you wreck yourself.
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