There is a Right Way and a Wrong Way to Love Somebody

I accept that I am a good writer and can move people with my words. It is rarely intentional. I have had several men approach me based on my Facebook post. Most have been very respectful, but there have been a few that have had no filter.

I often wonder what makes folk show their ugly side when initially meeting someone. What would make a man who has hopes to be with a woman, talk to her in a vulgar manner within minutes of a conversation? What makes him think he can do it and still have the women's attention?

You have to wonder are there women out their who find that type of talk appealing? are there women out there who led men to believe that degrading conversations are sexually arousing? I have had two such encounters. One of the men became a stalker. He could not believe I was not interested in him because he wanted to be with me. He had homes and cars and money and motorcycles. He boasted of this, even had pictures posted of the interiors of his cabinets and refrigerator.

Left me wondering, if I looked like I was hungry. He just kept talking about all this and that. Meanwhile, he couldn't walk two steps without having to take a break. Really. At this age, walking is about all will soon be able to do. None of those things will be of comfort when the wheelchair becomes your mode of transportation.

I don't know about other women, but I want a man who considers his healthy. Who knows how to love with his heart and is will to grow in love with another. A man who knows there is something greater than he, that supports his efforts good or bad, right or wrong. Someone with a high personal integrity and would never want to stoop as low to as to use vulgarity to get his point across.

We got a long way to go. Just know, there is little fun trying to do the right thing with the wrong man.

If It Don't Fit, Don't Force It

It is easy to see why women get a pass on so many things. We really do put our heart into most of what we do. Still, we must recognize when we are trying to fit a square peg in a round whole. If it don't fit, don't force it.

It amazes me that women are still using getting pregnant to try to trap men. If it don't fit, don't force it. I can barely comprehend why some would think creating a dependent for life with someone you had to track down to give the sex to will enhance your life.

We are in our will. Calling ourselves doing the right thing, even though we know he ain't right. See, what we misunderstand is the extent of our power as women. We cannot force another into growing up or taking responsibility. These factors are born from the inside out. Yet, there are many of us who think, "If he loves me, he will....."

When he doesn't, we never think, "We'll, I guess he doesn't love me, I should move on."
No, we dig our heels in deeper and continue to call ourselves doing the right thing, with the wrong man.

He Admitted the Truth

A year and a half after we were separated my husband called me and admitted he believes he is 80% responsible for the demise of our marriage. I didn't say a word. I listened closely as he spilled his guts.

"I don't regret much, but I do regret not doing right by you."

Took him all that time to accept responsibility for his actions. He also wondered out loud why it took him so long to recognize my worth. He answered his own question when he admitted to wanting immediate gratification. He accepted that is why he was unable to stay faithful, be loyal or hold our marriage in high regard. All he wanted to do was do what he wanted to do, no matter who he hurt.

His admission of the truth provided closure. If it wasn't for the reality of the matter, of the fact, I could easily forgot those years spent making an effort to be a wife to him. I must admit; it don't hurt now. I am like a new woman.

The truth really did set me free.