There is a Right Way and a Wrong Way to Love Somebody

I accept that I am a good writer and can move people with my words. It is rarely intentional. I have had several men approach me based on my Facebook post. Most have been very respectful, but there have been a few that have had no filter.

I often wonder what makes folk show their ugly side when initially meeting someone. What would make a man who has hopes to be with a woman, talk to her in a vulgar manner within minutes of a conversation? What makes him think he can do it and still have the women's attention?

You have to wonder are there women out their who find that type of talk appealing? are there women out there who led men to believe that degrading conversations are sexually arousing? I have had two such encounters. One of the men became a stalker. He could not believe I was not interested in him because he wanted to be with me. He had homes and cars and money and motorcycles. He boasted of this, even had pictures posted of the interiors of his cabinets and refrigerator.

Left me wondering, if I looked like I was hungry. He just kept talking about all this and that. Meanwhile, he couldn't walk two steps without having to take a break. Really. At this age, walking is about all will soon be able to do. None of those things will be of comfort when the wheelchair becomes your mode of transportation.

I don't know about other women, but I want a man who considers his healthy. Who knows how to love with his heart and is will to grow in love with another. A man who knows there is something greater than he, that supports his efforts good or bad, right or wrong. Someone with a high personal integrity and would never want to stoop as low to as to use vulgarity to get his point across.

We got a long way to go. Just know, there is little fun trying to do the right thing with the wrong man.

Too Old For Stupid Shit

Another problem women have in relationships is always trying to make a man give them what they want. They may withhold sex, treat him badly or refuse his phone calls. This is cool in your 20's and may spill over into your 30's, but damn by the time you get in your 40's you too old for stupid shit.

By the time most women are in their 40's, they have had their babies, did the Sally Homemaker routine, etc. So, more than likely if you find yourself looking, you are looking for a man who WANTS to meet your needs. This is not hard to figure out because he will explore and observe. He will ask questions and show interest.

If you have to hunt him down, or the only time you hear from him is at 3:00 a.m.; you know he ain't that into you. By the time women reach their 40's, there is a hope for some sense of self-respect and need for validation from within. Having to run a man down to love you is insane. And if you are doing it, let me be the first to tell you; you too old for stupid shit.

Stupid Ass

Sometimes we can be just plain stupid asses. Women, that is. There are biological reasons why we experience some of the self-hate we do during our teen-aged years. Unfortunately, it also during that time that our self-esteem needs to be developed in a positive way. Otherwise, we will most likely have to work on ourselves later if our self-esteem is low throughout our teens.

The dictionary defines self-esteem as a realistic respect or favorable impression of one-self.
Self-respect is defined as .proper esteem or regard for the dignity of ones character.

What the dictionary does not tell you is self-esteem is derived from what you see, think and believe others think and believe about you. Self-respect is what you know about yourself.

With this understand you can see clearly why there can be those who ain't shit with a high self-esteem and no self-respect. Then there are those, (like I used to be) with no self-esteem, but high self-respect.

So many woman struggle with self-esteem and thing very little about self-respect. If you have self-respect, you don't need self-esteem. Self-respect trumps self-esteem because it is based on what you know from within. Self-respect is derived from your awareness of your dignity and character. In lies, the problem, a stupid ass does not maintain their dignity, or sharpen their character. They allow their actions to be dictated by the desires of others. No where is this behavior more suicidal than in a relationship with a man.

Even the most well meaning man will abuse a woman who receives recognizes her self-worth only through the eyes of others. Either he will leave her or mistreat her in the end. Either way she will try to feed off the glory of being a victim for as long as she can, when in reality, she is a stupid ass.

The worse thing that can happen is for a Stupid Ass to be married to someone with no self-esteem or self-respect. Not only is the person unable to mirror anything positive for her, he, himself is trapped in his own stupid hell, so they go through stupid shit. God forbid they have children.

Women, check yourself, before you wreck yourself.