There is a Right Way and a Wrong Way to Love Somebody

I accept that I am a good writer and can move people with my words. It is rarely intentional. I have had several men approach me based on my Facebook post. Most have been very respectful, but there have been a few that have had no filter.

I often wonder what makes folk show their ugly side when initially meeting someone. What would make a man who has hopes to be with a woman, talk to her in a vulgar manner within minutes of a conversation? What makes him think he can do it and still have the women's attention?

You have to wonder are there women out their who find that type of talk appealing? are there women out there who led men to believe that degrading conversations are sexually arousing? I have had two such encounters. One of the men became a stalker. He could not believe I was not interested in him because he wanted to be with me. He had homes and cars and money and motorcycles. He boasted of this, even had pictures posted of the interiors of his cabinets and refrigerator.

Left me wondering, if I looked like I was hungry. He just kept talking about all this and that. Meanwhile, he couldn't walk two steps without having to take a break. Really. At this age, walking is about all will soon be able to do. None of those things will be of comfort when the wheelchair becomes your mode of transportation.

I don't know about other women, but I want a man who considers his healthy. Who knows how to love with his heart and is will to grow in love with another. A man who knows there is something greater than he, that supports his efforts good or bad, right or wrong. Someone with a high personal integrity and would never want to stoop as low to as to use vulgarity to get his point across.

We got a long way to go. Just know, there is little fun trying to do the right thing with the wrong man.

Too Old For Stupid Shit

Another problem women have in relationships is always trying to make a man give them what they want. They may withhold sex, treat him badly or refuse his phone calls. This is cool in your 20's and may spill over into your 30's, but damn by the time you get in your 40's you too old for stupid shit.

By the time most women are in their 40's, they have had their babies, did the Sally Homemaker routine, etc. So, more than likely if you find yourself looking, you are looking for a man who WANTS to meet your needs. This is not hard to figure out because he will explore and observe. He will ask questions and show interest.

If you have to hunt him down, or the only time you hear from him is at 3:00 a.m.; you know he ain't that into you. By the time women reach their 40's, there is a hope for some sense of self-respect and need for validation from within. Having to run a man down to love you is insane. And if you are doing it, let me be the first to tell you; you too old for stupid shit.

Pay Attention

People tell on themselves all the time. Whether consciously or not, they want you to know who they are; they just might not come right out and tell you. They want to see if you are paying attention. Men are great at taking advantage of their woman slipping. Sometimes they read our signals wrong, but most often they are right when they think we have little regard for who we are. A lot of time they want to see how much they can get and/or get away with. Depending on how much you do/or don't know who you are will determine how far they can take you.

We all know of a women who knew from the jump the man she chose wasn't right. But he had a few qualities she thought should couldn't do without, until she was ready to do without him. We have to know when we make the conscious choice to be with someone who we know is shady, our cloudy view will continue to lead us astray.

It is virtually impossible to survive doing the right thing with the wrong man without having a firm and solid relationship with yourself. You have to be strong enough stand tall in face of your feelings, emotions and desires. You have to be ready to fight for your life and know it is so true that love don't love nobody. The wrong man will challenge every belief you have because he has none truly for himself. He believes nothing but his own hype and the lies he has has fed to others.

Pay attention! Men and women. Men get choose the wrong women everyday and suffer until they can't anymore. Listen!

Admit It

Seriously, how many times have you been with a man to get something you knew he could give you, only to not want him when you don't want what you wanted when you first met him, anymore?

What is the point of this blog?

I want everyone to be happy, especially women. We try so hard. Yes, as my guy TI put, we can be a "tad misguided."

The way we hinder this pattern of giving the impression of being loss is to become more self-aware. I know, you hate to admit that sometimes you are manipulative and that you lie and even steal just to get a stupid purse, or dress. It would be hard for me too to say, "Yes, I slept with him for some red bottoms."

Yet, until we face all the little dark places of the self, who we are at our best cannot shine through and yes, you will continue to try to do the right thing with the wrong man until you right your wrongs. It always comes back to us. We cannot change it, until we admit it.

Stupid Ass

Sometimes we can be just plain stupid asses. Women, that is. There are biological reasons why we experience some of the self-hate we do during our teen-aged years. Unfortunately, it also during that time that our self-esteem needs to be developed in a positive way. Otherwise, we will most likely have to work on ourselves later if our self-esteem is low throughout our teens.

The dictionary defines self-esteem as a realistic respect or favorable impression of one-self.
Self-respect is defined as .proper esteem or regard for the dignity of ones character.

What the dictionary does not tell you is self-esteem is derived from what you see, think and believe others think and believe about you. Self-respect is what you know about yourself.

With this understand you can see clearly why there can be those who ain't shit with a high self-esteem and no self-respect. Then there are those, (like I used to be) with no self-esteem, but high self-respect.

So many woman struggle with self-esteem and thing very little about self-respect. If you have self-respect, you don't need self-esteem. Self-respect trumps self-esteem because it is based on what you know from within. Self-respect is derived from your awareness of your dignity and character. In lies, the problem, a stupid ass does not maintain their dignity, or sharpen their character. They allow their actions to be dictated by the desires of others. No where is this behavior more suicidal than in a relationship with a man.

Even the most well meaning man will abuse a woman who receives recognizes her self-worth only through the eyes of others. Either he will leave her or mistreat her in the end. Either way she will try to feed off the glory of being a victim for as long as she can, when in reality, she is a stupid ass.

The worse thing that can happen is for a Stupid Ass to be married to someone with no self-esteem or self-respect. Not only is the person unable to mirror anything positive for her, he, himself is trapped in his own stupid hell, so they go through stupid shit. God forbid they have children.

Women, check yourself, before you wreck yourself.