There is a Right Way and a Wrong Way to Love Somebody

I accept that I am a good writer and can move people with my words. It is rarely intentional. I have had several men approach me based on my Facebook post. Most have been very respectful, but there have been a few that have had no filter.

I often wonder what makes folk show their ugly side when initially meeting someone. What would make a man who has hopes to be with a woman, talk to her in a vulgar manner within minutes of a conversation? What makes him think he can do it and still have the women's attention?

You have to wonder are there women out their who find that type of talk appealing? are there women out there who led men to believe that degrading conversations are sexually arousing? I have had two such encounters. One of the men became a stalker. He could not believe I was not interested in him because he wanted to be with me. He had homes and cars and money and motorcycles. He boasted of this, even had pictures posted of the interiors of his cabinets and refrigerator.

Left me wondering, if I looked like I was hungry. He just kept talking about all this and that. Meanwhile, he couldn't walk two steps without having to take a break. Really. At this age, walking is about all will soon be able to do. None of those things will be of comfort when the wheelchair becomes your mode of transportation.

I don't know about other women, but I want a man who considers his healthy. Who knows how to love with his heart and is will to grow in love with another. A man who knows there is something greater than he, that supports his efforts good or bad, right or wrong. Someone with a high personal integrity and would never want to stoop as low to as to use vulgarity to get his point across.

We got a long way to go. Just know, there is little fun trying to do the right thing with the wrong man.

The World's Standards

Should I choose to look at my past marriage activity through the eyes of the World, I would say I was a fool to have stayed. I should have never married him in the first place. On and on and in and out.

Truth is, I loved me some him and when it was right I was loving it up. Truth is, I ain't mad cause of what I didn't get, I'm mad cause of what I will never get again.

He will never hold me in his arms and wrap me so tight I can't breathe. Then, twirl me, (yes, part of the reason I married the nigga is cause he could pick me up and twirl me at almost 300 pounds),

He made me feel high the way he looked at me and like Beyonce' I used to love to kiss his face over and over and over again. Since we have been separated, I asked him what he missed and of course, my barrage of kisses was high on the list. I adored my husband. The legs I rubbed with pure Shea Butter and sure love, gone somewhere, thrown away like they never had any use. Oh, but I remember the warmth from them when he wrapped them around my body as he lay on my back and whispered in my ear. Willingly transferring his life force and I was oh so glad to receive.

But, no more. The World would have me miss those memories. Have me to believe I was better off without the man I loved. Anyway! I can't tell. No matter what the force to destroy, I went to and listened to the place inside me connected with the Universe and rode it out. After a while, I got it and I no longer had to trip. I knew I had to find someway to enjoy the ride and I did that.

Now that he is basically no more. I mean I really ain't trying to be funny be he looked like Jaba the Hut in a Pinned Stripped suit at his mother's funeral. This was a tall, handsome, two-legged man with both hands and use of his arms. He gave it up for the streets and women and having his way. When I look at him, I get what God wants me to do and to know. I see how I can help others understand that life is not all about getting what you want. Those are not the times you win. You only truly win when you share your love.

My husband told me he wasn't husband material. I didn't know what husband material was so I had no reference to question one way are the other. I just knew I wanted him and it felt right. Even when that thang was at it worse, it felt right. Mine was a covenant marriage. Baby, when I tell you God did it! Know and believe, trust and observe; God got me, and I got this.

So to the world? I owe you nothing. Not one damn thang. I paid my dues.